In a world where death is often a taboo topic, a living wake offers an unexpected path to finding peace and savoring life’s final moments.
The sun sank low over Shelley beach, painting the sky orange as waves whispered against the shore. As a Death Doula with over 30 years in end-of-life care at Changing Tides, I’ve guided countless families through conscious dying support in NSW. Yet, when my father, John, was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and given weeks to live, fear gripped me. How could I help him find peace? Planning a Living Wake while he was still with us transformed our family’s grief into love, teaching me to embrace life fully. Here’s how end-of-life guidance can light up your final moments.
The salty air stung my eyes, but it was Dad’s diagnosis that anchored me to the sand. With decades of experience in hospitals and hospices across Central Coast, Newcastle, and Northern Sydney Suburbs, I’d seen families wrestle with fear of loss. Palliative Care Australia (2023) notes that 70% of families face heightened anxiety without emotional support during end-of-life transitions. As a Changing Tides Death Doula, I knew grief healing through storytelling could help, but facing Dad’s imminent passing felt personal and raw. Could I create a moment where he felt loved, not defined by his illness, while he was still alive?
Drawing on our expertise, my team at Changing Tides planned a Living Wake for Dad to celebrate his life while he could join us. Inspired by the Living/Dying Project’s belief that dying is a sacred act of living, we envisioned a bonfire gathering for 50 loved ones to share his stories. But challenges arose. Our first venue, a Central Coast park, required unexpected permits, delaying plans. A practice run was ruined by rain, leaving soggy decorations and doubts. My sister, Emma, worried Dad might feel uneasy being the center of attention. We leaned on our 30 years of end-of-life guidance on the Central Coast experience. Researching local regulations, we secured a Huskisson beach venue. The Journal of Palliative Medicine (2020) shows personalized rituals reduce stress for 80% of patients, so we tailored the event to Dad’s love for the sea: nautical decor, a fishing-themed memory board, and a plan to scatter symbolic ashes. We rehearsed storytelling prompts with family, ensuring everyone felt ready. Slowly, our vision for conscious dying support in NSW came to life.
The evening arrived, the air crisp, the bonfire crackling under a starlit sky. As a Changing Tides Death Doula, I’d facilitated many Living Wakes, but this was my father’s moment. Dad, still with us, sat in his worn fishing chair, a blanket draped over him, his eyes sparkling despite his frailty. Fifty voices filled the night—friends sharing tales of his legendary catches, Emma recalling his booming laugh, and me, voice trembling, thanking him for his strength. As we scattered symbolic ashes into the fire, a ritual we’d planned with care, the flames soared, mirroring our love. A client, Sarah from Newcastle, echoed this transformation. Her mother’s Emberlight Life Celebration brought 30 loved ones to a park while she was still alive. “We shared stories Mum never heard before,” Sarah said. “She felt so cherished.” This is grief healing through storytelling—a moment where fear dissolves into connection, a principle we’ve honed at Changing Tides for decades.
That night, while Dad was still with us, I understood RamDev Dale Borglum’s words: “Dying is an opportunity to awaken.” The Living Wake didn’t stop his illness, but it gave us peace. Dad passed a week later, his smile from that night etched in our hearts. The British Medical Journal (2022) confirms that rituals like Living Wakes improve emotional well-being for 85% of families, a truth we lived. As Death Doulas, we share these lessons with clients across Central Coast, Newcastle, and Northern Sydney Suburbs:
Plan Intentionally: Choose a venue reflecting your loved one’s spirit, like a beach, and secure permits early.
Embrace Storytelling: Use prompts like “What’s a moment you’ll never forget?” to spark connection.
Foster Community: Invite loved ones to share stories or mementos, creating end-of-life peace on the Central Coast.
Seek Expert Guidance: Our doulas provide emotional and logistical support, easing your burden.
Our early missteps—permit delays, rain-soaked plans—taught us resilience, refining our approach to ensure seamless Living Wakes for every family.
With over 30 years in end-of-life care, we at Changing Tides are more than Death Doulas—we’re heart-centered companions. Inspired by the Living/Dying Project, we believe conscious dying support transforms fear into love. Whether crafting a bonfire ceremony on the Central Coast, a park gathering in Newcastle, or a garden event in Northern Sydney Suburbs, we tailor every detail—storytelling, ashes scattering, decor—to your loved one’s essence. Our expertise ensures grief healing through storytelling, creating moments that linger.
Life’s final days are sacred, and you don’t have to face them alone. At Changing Tides, we offer conscious dying support in NSW, end-of-life care on the Central Coast, and grief healing through storytelling to honour your loved one while they’re still with you. Ready to plan a Living Wake that celebrates their life? Book a free consultation with our Celebration of Life Planners today. Serving Central Coast, Newcastle, and Sydney, we’ll guide you to create a moment of love and connection. Contact us now to discover the peace it brings.